The Merchandise

Crank Drug I.D. Guide

A complete array of drug samples and their correct names.
Novice drug user? Teenager just starting out? Education is the key to understanding. Looking to expand your horizons, but are afraid to ask your friends what your mom's Xanex will do for you? We'll teach you.

The Crank Drug I.D. Guide includes a full array of stimulants, depressants, hallucinogens, inhalants, and run-of-the-mill narcotics, plus a special display of favorite household choices, including Magic Markers®, White Out®, and WD-40®.

Hey, everyone else knows their drugs, why shouldn't you?

Item No. V-198-A93. $449.99 + s&h.

Crank Catheter Kit
For Education...

and Fun!

The Nation is growing older. People are living longer, dying later, and falling apart more thoroughly. With the Crank Catheter Kit, you and your spouse--or just a close friend--can avoid costly trips to the hospital by taking care of business at home. Teach yourself how use a catheter, without damaging your genitals during the process! Comes complete with practice tubing and enough cleaner for ten urethras!

Item No. G-203-A93. $395.99 + s&h. Specify M or F.