With Sufficient Spare Time,
I Could Make All of You Look Alike

I bought the last Superchunk album. I like Superchunk. And I like Laura, the bass player for Superchunk. It ain't a great album, but it did grow on me.

The cover (below, left) was painted by Laura herself. One night, with a few drinks in my belly, I was clearing out a stack of old magazines wasting precious space in the apartment. By sheer accident, the Superchunk CD fell next to the November, 1993, issue of "Premiere."

The cover of this issue features the leads of that Three Musketeers disaster, among them Oliver Platt (below, right).

Well, fuck me, don't they look strangely similar?

So, with the help of a few more drinks, a big Macintosh, and Adobe Photoshop 2.5, I decided to see just how close we could make get the Uberchick cover girl to Oliver Platt.

Step-by-step
1: add Oliver's bandanna to Uberchick
2: give her a moustache
3: re-shape and change the angle of her eye
4: add more hair hanging over her shoulder
5: make her hair flop out above the bandanna
6: kick her testosterone level up to Oliver's (in other words: chest and back hair--I just ASSUME that Oliver Platt has ABUNDANT chest and back hair)
7: add wrinkles, scars and creases to her forehead and cheek
8: extend sideburn

Voila!