Welcome to the third in a continuing series of Crank Magazines.
I am your host, Jeff Koyen.

First of all, to answer the question that everyone's asking: BLACK & DECKER NEVER RESPONDED. Sorry.

For the record: Crank is not a misanthropic publication, regardless of what the reviewers say. Instead, I'd prefer to coin the term "disanthropic," from the equally imaginary word "disanthropy," which, to me, captures the essence of my relationship with the remainder of society: disgust. Crank does not advocate the murder of people--as a group nor as individuals--though I'm not adverse to seeing it happen. If you have specific instances where I say otherwise, go stick them up your mother's asshole. Of course I'm inconsistent--it's my prerogative as the chump wasting his paycheck on publishing this fucking thing.

CRANK is a production of Jeff Koyen, Philadelphia, PA. No clever company name. The articles in Crank #3 may be used and reproduced for any reasons you deem appropriate, so long as you credit the source. This does not include the artwork, logos or photos herein--you do not have permission to steal those, buddy, so keep your dirty mitts off of 'em. My continued thanks: Amy Nathanson; Tom Bielavitz; Stef; Blake; Dennis; Steve; Shyamala; the Mauls; distributors generous enough to sell Crank for a paltry buck profit; whoever filled my box with something interesting; and you (for your cash more than anything else).

Super thanks to Vinnie Jordan (Interview with a Killer #2)
and Tom Bielavitz (Time to Kill).

Crank (issn 1076-9102)
(c) 1994 Jeff Koyen, except contributions by the above authors