Sign Me Up!

Consumer Name
E(MC)2 (Easyriders Motorcycle Club MasterCard)

Ad campaign
"Use it today, ya fuckin' pussy."

Member benefits
Free copy of Best Old Ladies, 1960-1985 upon approval. Free admission to yearly Sausage Eating Contest.

Consumer Name
The W. C. Handy Charge

Ad campaign
"Y'all may be po', but you can still go into debt with class."

Member benefits
Instant cred for white intellectuals.

Consumer Name
ARGO Starch Charge

Ad campaign
"You trust us to thicken your gravy. Now, we trust you with a line of credit."

Member benefits
Free admission to The Corn Palace in Mitchell, South Dakota.

Consumer Name
The Darby Romeo MasterCunt Card

Ad campaign
"Give me something or yours and, in return, I won't give you shit because I'm a self-centered, short-sighted, exploitative media slut with no regard for anyone else who actually contributes their hard work and time and energy to a seemingly worthwhile cause that is, in reality, nothing more than window-dressing for my grandstanding. In short, I'm a never-was, filthy whore; and Ben is Dead is crap."

Member benefits
You get to be part of the gang until your usefulness runs out.