In the Movie

Earns a living as a ranting cabbie

Drops copies of his "newsletter" in various mailboxes to avoid detection by the government

While peeping on Julia Roberts working out, he sings along with the music

Becomes involved with various government agencies; nail-biting intrigue ensues

Overly horrified to uncover a conspiracy to kill the president; he spreads the word to the six people who read his newsletter

Makes a deal with an unnamed government agency to share his information with them

Outruns the bad guys

Destroys his research, manuscripts and apartment rather than let if fall into the government's hands

After experiencing his paranoid, pathetic and intolerably incoherent personality for two hours of screen time, the hot chick falls for him and risks everything for love

In Real Life

Earns a living as a whiny temp

Drops copies of his zine in someone else's "outgoing" box to avoid detection by the office manager

While peeping on Julia Roberts working out, he jerks off into a sock

Becomes involved with the local poetry crowd; absolutely nothing ensues

Overly horrified to uncover a conspiracy to open a Borders in every U.S. town; he spreads the word to the six people who read his rambling tirades on alt.zines

Makes a deal with the local Kinko's counter monkey to exchange free promo CDs for free photocopying

Out-types the bad guys

Destroys his credibility by filling his zine with music reviews rather than expend the energy to write fresh, entertaining material

After experiencing his paranoid, pathetic and intolerably incoherent personality for two issues, the ugly, fat chick realizes he's just another dimwit zine loser and risks nothing by dumping him